I’m finally getting around to blogging these pictures almost 4-1/2 years after the fact. These pictures came about after visiting my grandpa in the Alzheimer’s unit of the nursing home. Several times out there I noticed this sweet couple. The husband would come to visit and feed his wife lunch. One afternoon while feeding my grandpa, I witnessed this intimate little moment, and quietly snapped a photo with my phone, tears running down my cheeks.
I couldn’t get my mind off of this couple and the deep love they shared. I asked my mom if she knew anything about them since she went out there almost every day. She knew exactly who I was talking about, so I asked her if she thought they’d mind if I came and took a few photos of them. I really thought it would be nice for them and their family to have some pictures of their deep connection. My mom thought they would and encouraged me to talk to Mr. Weaver. So I did. He happily agreed, and so I met up with him out there one day over the lunch hour. I quietly watched them as they went about their routine and just took pictures of them, hoping to capture the beautiful love I saw.
Those of you with friends or family members dealing with Alzheimer’s disease know how horrible it can be. You watch helplessly as the person you once knew becomes someone completely different. Sometimes you are blessed with a few moments in which the fog has cleared, but more often than not, you’re interacting with the shell of the person who was once there. Years ago, I remember visiting my Grandpa Schumaker. Sometimes he would remember us, and sometimes he wouldn’t. Even within one visit, within minutes, he’d go from knowing us, to living back in the past. It’s heart wrenching. Then we went through the whole thing again with my Grandpa Starofsky.
So as I watched Mr. Weaver, I was in awe of his patience and kindness while feeding his wife. She struggled at times and even got frustrated, but there was nothing but love and admiration for her in his eyes. He spoke to her softly and tenderly.
And then there are the hands. I love photographing hands. Think of all of the things your hands do over the course of your life time. Looking at their hands, I imagined years of hard work and yet years of lovingly holding each others hands, facing the world together.
Years after the vows have been said, the honeymoon only a distant memory, and yet look at the way Mr. Weaver still looks at his wife. He absolutely adores her. I could see it in the way he looked at her, the way he tenderly touched her, the way he patiently fed her, the way he lovingly embraced her, and how he faithfully came to feed her lunch whether she knew who he was or not. Guys, that’s what “I do” means. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health….these two didn’t let the trials and troubles of life destroy their marriage. As I watched Mr. Weaver choose to love his wife when she would possibly give nothing in return, I was in awe. I can’t even imagine losing your spouse to Alzheimer’s. What a legacy of love though that he faithfully loved his wife, giving her all of his love and admiration, expecting nothing in return. I’m sitting here crying as I write this because my grandparents, parents and in-laws have all lived the example of a self sacrificing love in their marriages. I hope that I can do the same in mine.
In these last photos, just look at Mr. Weaver’s love for his wife. I chatted with him about her, and he talked about her like a giddy young man madly in love. All he could say were good things about her. Being that it’s been 4 years since that conversation, I don’t remember a whole lot of details from it, but there is one thing I do. He said (not verbatim, but to the best of my recollection), “She was a singer…I mean, not a professional singer, but she had a lovely voice and would sing while she worked around the house. I would stand at the bottom of the stairs and just listen to her singing upstairs.” His eyes just gleamed as he talked about her and their life together.
Once Mr. Weaver finished feeding her lunch and just sitting enjoying each other’s company, he wheeled her back to her room as he did each day, and then proceeded to climb in bed with her and hold her. I didn’t take any pictures of those precious moments, and maybe he didn’t even mind and I should have, but I didn’t want to intrude on such an intimate and special time.
As a photographer, I feel incredibly honored to be chosen to document the special moments in my clients’ lives. I hope the images I capture will be passed down to generation after generation, allowing future generations to see through a window into the lives of those who left the legacy of love to them. Thank you for stopping by and reading my post! I hope you enjoyed these images as much as I did capturing them.
